Revelmode: United in Passion
by Mr. Papi
Summary: It has been 84 years since the fall of YouTube. In all that time, the entire globe has been overthrown by the greatest tyrant humanity has ever seen. It is up to one faceless man to save the world and his old friend.


It has been 84 years since the fall of YouTube.

Ken couldn't see a thing, even with his remaining good eye. The room was pitch black. Since regaining consciousness, his focus was hindered by the overwhelming stench of sweaty metal and blood. The cold floor was hurting his knees, and his arms were uncomfortably bound behind his back. He couldn't even guess the time in the darkness, but he knew it had to have been at least a day since he had anything to drink. And it must have been even longer since he was given food.

There were footsteps. Ken heard them as they slowly came closer. Then a heavy door creaked open and was slammed closed. With a blinding flash of light, two torches on either side of the steel doorway suddenly went up simultaneously in a flurry of flames. The bright lights stung Ken's eyes, but through his squinting, he could see the blurry figure of a svelte man.

"Well, well, well," he said in a condescending tone as he sauntered across the room. "If it isn't my archenemy, CinnamonToastKen." The man pinched Ken's cheek as if the bearded man were a toddler. "You know, you've been quite an asshole since you betrayed me. Was a kingdom of your own not good enough for you?"

"Felix, you son of a bitch," Ken grunted. His teeth were clenched and his brow was wrinkled. "You destroyed Mississippi and renamed it PewDickstan."

"I gave you a continent!" the emperor snapped.

"You slaughtered millions!" Ken shouted back.

"I slaughtered those who stood against us!" Emperor PewDiePie retorted. "And the world is better for it!" The Swede clenched his fists dramatically. "Look what we created. This is the greatest empire the world has ever known. Mankind has reached the height of its existence. There's no one left to challenge us. Every corner of the globe belongs to me."

The emperor noticed Ken's contemptuous glare.

He paused to take a deep breath. Emperor PewDiePie took the end of his cape in his hand and admired the extravagant blue and gold pattern. In a cold voice, he added, "At least Mary appreciated what we were doing."

Ken's body heat rose as his growing anger spiked his blood pressure. "You took her from me!" Ken pulled at his restraints. He knew they wouldn't budge. Michael would never leave the Emperor alone with a prisoner if he wasn't absolutely sure he was safe. "Is that how you treat your allies? Is that how you inspire loyalty? I can't believe I ever thought of you as a friend."

"But let's not waste any more time here," the Emperor said nonchalantly as he readjusted one of his pristine, white gloves. "I already know you're a lost cause. I can't go around pardoning traitors who have done so much damage to my armies as you have, you know. But you can do something to quicken your execution."

Ken smirked despite his exhaustion, dehydration and pain. "Well, you're out of luck. I'm not telling you where he is."

"Oh, I think you will," the emperor said confidently. Emperor PewDiePie crossed his arms and leaned forward, bringing his mouth closer to Ken's ear. In a taunting whisper, he said, "Unless you want to end up like your old friend Jook-Souptic-Oy."

Ken tensed up from rage. "God dang it, Felix, you Swedish meatball-loving piece of trash!"

"How dare you!" Emperor PewDiePie turned dramatically towards the armored door. "Guards!" he yelled, summoning his men from outside. The uniform-clad men quickly rushed into the dim, musty room. "Take this traitor away! Shave his beard and let him rot in his cell!"

After one last distain-loaded glance, Emperor PewDiePie flipped his priceless cape, turned his back on his former ally and briskly departed from the room. He could hear the clanking of chains and the grunts of a worthless fool as the heavy door slowly closed behind him.

The Emperor chewed his mustache as he ascended the staircase. His bedroom was quite expansive. There was a bed large enough for ten people in the center and carpeting from wall to wall. He removed his fabulous crown and set it on a pedestal between an oversized mustache and his newly-acquired bearskin hat. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair and said, "I'm back, Marzia."

"Hey Poods," Marzia said, poking her head out from under the mound of excited, panting pugs that covered the bed.

"I'm fucking pissed," he complained as he stepped out onto the massive balcony that overlooked the city. The cool air was refreshing after being in that stuffy dungeon for so long. He could see the ocean in the distance. "Ken was being a little bitch again. Why can't he see how far we've come? We own the world now and he wants to go back to playing videogames for a living."

Marzia climbed out of the pug pile. She kept one of the fawn pugs in her arms as she stepped out onto the balcony. Before Emperor PewDiePie could get too deep into his rant, she interrupted. "Hey bro, are we still going to the cinema?"

Pewds turned around to face his girlfriend. He had a soft, sentimental smile as he looked at her. Marzia was just as beautiful as she was when they met all those decades ago. Advances in cosmetics kept her looking as she did in her twenties. These same advances were also used by Pewds and many others. In all these years, Marzia was the one thing that never changed, or so Pewds would like to believe.

One of the many pugs started barking. Reflexively, Pewds broke from his reverie and shouted, "Edgar, Deutschland!" Pewds flinched at his own words. It had been so long since he had said that. He hadn't been thinking and it just came out. He looked confused, unsure of what to say.

"Oh, Poods," Marzia said sympathetically.

"No," Pewds insisted, "I'm fine." He turned back towards the city and took a deep breath. In a gruff, strained voice, he said, "Please tell Michael that the traitor has been dealt with. Then we can go."

"Of course," Marzia agreed. She looked down at the one-eyed pug in her arms. "C'mon Maya," the Italian said with a warm smile before exiting the room. The dozens of pugs left behind all jumped off the bed and followed her.

Pewds held his hand over his eyes. "We've lost a lot of good men, haven't we?" he said. He felt the cool breeze ruffle his hair. "It really has been 84 years." It was a length of time much longer than the life of a single pug.

Emperor PewDiePie's eyes narrowed.

"But I have to focus on the real problem," the emperor muttered to himself. He grew more serious as his mind turned back to work. Public enemy #1 had been defeated. The greatest threat to his empire was now imprisoned. But there was another, a man so powerful that he could bring about revolution the world over if he wished. Despite his strength, he was not on the list of the empire's greatest enemies. Many argued that he had ceased to exist long ago and some believed he had always been a fantasy.

"I know you're out there." With a stern gaze, he looked out over the nighttime lights of his capital city, the largest metropolitan area in Greater Sweden and the wealthiest city in the world. Emperor PewDiePie's grip on the railing tightened. "Just because you've eluded me so far, doesn't mean you can hide your face forever."

In a razed city of a long-ago suppressed nation, a crumbling building was darkened by nightfall. But without a single person to see it, a cracked computer monitor of a hundred years ago suddenly lit up from within a dusty room. The once-black screen was now bright white. A single thin line stretched horizontally across the screen and two hollow circles appeared on opposite sides of the screen above the line. Through damaged and decrepit speakers, a male voice rang out.

"With the people of this world as my witness, I present a message to the honorable Emperor PewDiePie. You've changed, buddy. You are no longer the man you once were. I mean, it used to be about the videogames, man. And now you're just, like, killing people and being all governmental. What happened? When did you become such a sellout piece of shit?"

Then there was a dramatic shift in tone as the same speaker became much more relaxed. "Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

"But seriously, I think it's time we talk. I can't stand idly by any longer. You can look for me all you want, but when the time comes, I'll be the one coming to you. Be ready, Pewds."

And then the screens of countless computers, cellphones and televisions across the planet simultaneously went dark.


End file.
